Love-nemies
by sapphoninja
Summary: After Frenemies. Santana realizes what she has lost. Pezberry.
1. Chapter 1

Santana watched the little pieces of papers falling to the floor. Rachel had just torn their picture, the one that represented the start of their beautiful friendship. She has torn it in little pieces along with her heart. She was staring at them, not saying a word a tear beginning to form at the corner of her eye.

- - Santana... Kurt said softly.

- - I..I.. She...

She picked the pieces one by one, carefully, and took them to the kitchen table. Then she started to ransack the loft looking for a roll of tape and put all the pieces together holding it the best she could. Kurt was staring at her, not knowing what to say. It was obvious that Santana was hurt, really hurt. He knows that Rachel can be a bitchy star, but now she has just crossed the line. Santana finally managed to put the pieces together and once done, she couldn't hold her tears much longer.

- - Oh God Santana...

Kurt held her in his arms telling her that everything will be okay, that Rachel will probably realize sooner than later what she had lost and come back.

- - What we had, it, it really meant something to me. I never wanted to steal her part...

- - I know Santana.

- - Thanks Kurt for being there.

She wiped her tears and stood up giving a quick hug to Kurt.

- - I need to get out of here, take a walk or something.

- - I'll come with you.

- - No, no I'd like to be by myself.

- Okay. If you need anything just text me.

Santana took her light coat and went out to the streets of New York. Feeling so alone in this so crowded town. Rachel was right, their friendship was unexpected since their past in High School but it doesn't mean that they never been friends. Their last year, and this year in New York they have built something. And that something was almost everything to Santana.

**I see your face in my mind as I drive away,**

**Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.**

**People are people, and sometimes we change our minds.**

**But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.**

**Mmm mmm mmm **

**Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie**

**It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see**

**Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down**

**Now I don't know what to be without you around.**

**And we know it's never simple, never easy.**

**Never a clean break, no one here to save me.**

**You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,**

**And I can't breathe without you**

**But I have to.**

**Breathe without you**

**But I have to.**

**Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.**

**And I can't breathe without you**

- - Hey!

- - Woa! Dani what are you doing here?

- - Humm. I work here remember, and I'm on my shift. Aren't you here to see me babe?

She walked so much without thinking that she was now in front of the Café where they all work. Her feet must have led her a way she already knew, good thing she's not lost in a ghetto or something.

- - You don't look good. What's going on?

- - Rachel left me.

- - What?

- - I mean. She left the apartment. Telling me I've never been her friend.

- - But this is ridiculous. Come here babe.

Dani pulled her girlfriend in a tight embrace and led her inside the Café.

- - Why have you two been fighting?

- - Because I auditioned for her understudy. And she saw it like I wanted to steal her part.

- - It's usually what understudy does, no?

- - Yes but I didn't saw it like that. I saw the opportunity, I took it. I thought it would be fun to spend time with Rachel on this project since I don't see her much lately. Well since she got that part.

- - Have you told her that?

- - What do you think?

- - Hey don't be so harsh!

- - Sorry. I'm just, angry and sad, and...

- - Broken. I can see that.

- - Yeah broken, that's the word I think. When she tore that picture of us...

- - Wow that seems pretty serious. Do you know where she went?

- - No, I... don't. Oh my God what if she has to sleep in the streets!

- - Babe, calm down. She'll probably go at Elliott's or to some NYADA's friend. She won't sleep outside.

- - I'm just worrying about her. Even though she said we're not friends... I still care about her.

- - I think you need to go and talk to her about how you feel.

- - I'm not even sure of what I feel right now.

- - You have a broken heart. But I wasn't in love with Rachel.

- - Are you in love with me?

- - What? You are my girlfriend!

- - Do you love me?

Santana never thought about it. She liked Dani a lot and it always felt good hanging out with her, but can she say that she loves her?

- - Dani, I...

- - It's okay Santana. We had a great time together and I really like you but I knew that day would come. You have to go get her before it's too late. She's the one owning your heart.

- - What, Dani, I don't...

**Open the door and come in**

**I'm so glad to see you my friend**

**Don't know how long it has been**

**Having those feelings again.**

**And now I see that you're so happy**

**And ooh, it just sets me free**

**And I'd like to see**

**Us as good of friends**

**As we used to be**

**Aah, my love, Aah**

**You're in love**

**That's the way**

**It should be**

**'Cause I want you to be happy**

**You're in love**

**And I know**

**That you're not in love with me**

**Ooh it's enough**

**For me to know**

**That you're in love**

- - Wow, Dani you really think?

- - I do Santana. So go, find her.

Dani leans and place a little kiss of Santana's forehead.

- - See you later. Good luck.

To Kurt: I think I'm in love with Rachel.

Kurt: What!?

To Kurt: Well Dani think so. And I think she is right.

Kurt: That's kind of a revelation. How did she took it?

To Kurt: Dani? She was cool about it. She's the one pushing me to find Rachel and put the pieces together.

Kurt: She told me she'll sleep at Elliott's.

To Kurt: Good. I'll come home and think about all this before doing anything stupid.

Kurt: Good decision. I'll make some Hot Chocolate and we'll watch a musical if you want!

To Kurt: Only if it's Rent.

Kurt: Depressing.

To Kurt: Stop. It's my favorite.

Kurt: See you later.

SONGS

Breathe: Taylor Swift (Santana)

You're In Love : Wilson Philips (Dani)


	2. Chapter 2

The credits of Rent appear on the screen. Santana and Kurt are wrapped in blankets, crying.

- - Told you it was depressive!

- - Yeah. But it's a good movie.

- - Do you want to talk to me about Rachel?

- - Erm. I'm not sure what to say. I kind of feel like what happened was a bad dream and that she'll walk through that door in minutes. But then I realize she won't come back and I just feel like roll in a ball in my bed and don't move.

- - Yeah.

- - Do you think I... could sleep in her room tonight?

- - Well technically this room is yours now.

- - No don't say that. She'll come back. I'll go to sleep. Night Kurt.

- - Night.

To Elli: How's Rachel doing?

Elli: She is still a bit pissed... and annoying. How can you guys stand her?

To Elli: Rachel can be something, but we love her.

Elli: Yeah, about that. How is Santana doing?

To Elli: Pretty bad. She mostly spends her time in her room or at the dinner working when Rachel is not.

Elli: Does she intend to speak to Rachel?

To Elli: Doesn't seem like it.

Elli: We should do something about that. I'm sick of this situation.

To Elli: Me too. Wanna go to the dinner.

Elli: Rachel is working right?

To Elli: :)

To Santana: Hey girl. You have to get out of this room. Meet Elliott and me at the dinner in an hour. No excuses accepted.

Santana: Yeah Yeah Lady Lips.

At the dinner, Santana finds Kurt sitting at a table.

- - Why here? I'm always here working Kurt! It could have been somewhere else.

- - Hi Santana!

- - Hey Elliott. Can we go somewhere else, please?

- - Nope. Well maybe after. We have a special request before.

- - What? You have to sing.

- - Well I'm not going to.

- - Hi, I'll be your waitress for the night, my name is..

- =- Rachel!

- - Santana! What are you doing here, it's MY working shift!

- - Wohooo girls. Rachel calm down, would you?

- - I'll get someone else to serve you.

- - Kurt, you knew she was working!

- - You guys have to speak!

- - But she hates my face don't you see? I can't even look at her without feeling all this hating. So how could I talk to her?

- - Sing.

- - This is why you are here!

- - Elliott shut up with your happy face! Alright. I'll try, but if it doesn't work...

Santana points a menacing finger to both of them before going to the stage and taking the mic.

- - This song is for someone that is very important to me. I screwed everything and I hope she'll stop hating me one day.

**I've been ignoring this big lump in my throat  
I shouldn't be crying,  
tears were for the weaker days  
I'm stronger now, or so I say,  
But something's missing**

Whatever it is,  
it feels like it's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror  
Whatever it is,  
it's just laughing at me  
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out  
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)  
What now? Oh, oh, oh, oh! What now?

I found the one, she changed my life  
But was it me that changed  
And she just happened to come at the right time  
I'm supposed to be in love  
But I'm numb again

Whatever it is,  
it feels like it's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror  
Whatever it is,  
it's just sitting there laughing at me  
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out  
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)  
What now? Please tell me  
What now?

There's no one to call 'cause I'm just playing games with them all  
The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone  
'Cause I spent every hour just going through the motions  
I can't even get the emotions to come out  
Dry as a bone, but I just wanna shout

What now? I just can't figure it out  
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)  
What now? Somebody tell me  
What now?

I don't know where to go  
I don't know what to feel  
I don't know how to cry  
I don't know oh oh why  
I don't know where to go  
I don't know what to feel  
I don't know how to cry  
I don't know oh oh why  
I don't know where to go  
I don't know what to feel  
I don't know how to cry  
I don't know oh oh why

So what now?

- - Woaw, this was powerful! Said Elliott.

- - Do you think it worked?

- - Rachel surely looked a bit shaken but I don't think it's won yet.

When going off the stage, Santana looked at Rachel hoping for some king of sign but the other brunette just looked away.

- - Didn't work guys. Let's get out of here.

- - I'm sorry Santana, said Kurt with a sad smile.

- - It's not all lost. Rachel did look touched by your song.

- - Anyways.

- Santana you can't give up like this. You know Rachel can be stubborn, don't put your arms down on that battle.

- - Elliott! What was the thing with Santana?

- - She misses you Rachel! You've been pretty hard on her!

- - For trying to steal my part. For betraying me?

- - Rachel stop, she wasn't trying to steal your part.

- - And how do you know that?!

- - I spoke with Dani and she told me that Santana just wanted to spend more time with you and that she took the opportunity with the understudy.

- - I don't believe you!

- - You're such a pain in the ass sometimes!

- - Oh! Take your words back!

- - I won't.

- - And what was it with this song anyways? It wasn't even talking about friendship.

- - Why don't you ask the one who sang it for you? Rachel, listen. Maybe what Santana did was not the best move but she never did so to hurt you. She cares for you and she is really affected with your absence in her life. Maybe you should consider at least talk to her. Think about it ok?

Rachel went to her room, well Elliott's room and closed the door.

She really does miss Santana too. And not being with her every day is kind of strange. This is why she secretly takes a walk everyday in front of the dinner when she knows Santana is working.

Cold as ice  
And more bitter than a december  
Winter night  
That's how I treated you  
And I know that I  
I sometimes tend to lose my temper  
And I cross the line  
Yeah that's the truth

I know it gets hard sometimes  
But I could never  
Leave your side  
No matter what I say

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now,  
But I really need you near me to  
Keep my mind off the edge  
If I wanted to leave I would have left by now  
But you're the only one that knows me  
Better than I know myself

All along  
I tried to pretend it didn't matter  
If I was alone  
But deep down I know  
If you were gone  
For even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn  
Cause I'm lost without you

I know it gets hard sometimes  
But I could never  
Leave your side  
No matter what I say 

Rachel gets out of the room and looks directly at Elliott.

- - I'll talk to her.

To Kurt: Rachel is open to talk with Santana.

Kurt: Good news. Because Lady Lima Heights is getting way too edgy now.

To Kurt: Bring her to the NYADA's auditorium and have her a heart melting song prepared for Rachel. I think it will crack the rest of the shell

Kurt: Great. See you tomorrow.

To Kurt: At noon.

- - Is this your boyfriend again Lady Lips?

- - Santana.

- - Why are you happy when I'm not.

- - I have good news.

- - You see, I'm sexy as hell, I can be funny and I'm all fucking alone.

- - Rachel agreed to see you.

- - All the people I love finish hating me! Wait what did you say?

- - Rachel wants to see you.

- - You're kidding. It's not funny.

- - I'm not. Tomorrow at NYADA's auditorium.

- - ...

- - I spoke with Elliott and he thinks that if you choose the perfect song, expressing your feelings, she'll crack. She misses you, even though she doesn't want to admit it.

- - I know the perfect song. Kurt you are awesome.

Squealing she hugs Kurt until he can't breathe and then starts jumping everywhere.

- - Santan I think you abuse of the wine.

She suddenly stops.

- - Not a word of that Lady Hummel or your dead.

Kurt mimics zipping his lips and Santana goes to her room.

SONGS

What Now – Rihanna (Santana)

Better than I Know Myself – Adam Lambert (Rachel)

* * *

**So what do you think?  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Santana had trouble sleeping this night, thinking of what she should say to Rachel. She wants to make things up and tell her that she loves her but what if she freaks out? After all, even if she is open-minded, Rachel is still straight.

Around 5 A.M. she goes to Kurt's room and wakes him up.

- - Kurt, Kurt.

- - What Santana? Is there an emergency?!

- - I think I shouldn't tell her?

- - What are you talking about?

- - Rachel. I shouldn't tell her I love her. She's gonna freak out.

- - For God's sake Satan, you wake me at 5 AM to tell me that? Just fucking tell her. You should have a long time ago!

- - Wow! Porcelaine is swearing!

- - Yeah! Don't disturb my sleep again. Tomorrow you will tell Rachel how you feel and end this feud with a happy and lovely ending. Good night Santana!

Santana is still sitting on Kurt's bed.

- - I said good-night.

- - Okay, okay. Night.

- - What am I going to say anyway? Sorry that I've been a shitty friend, now let's just do like nothing happened.

- - That's a good start.

- - No way Elliott, I'm not going!

- - Rachel, you said you would. So take your things and let's get going. You don't have to say anything. Just listen to what Santana has to say. Please. For everyone's sake.

Santana was in the auditorium for 10 minutes now.

- - She's not gonna come Kurt. I should have known.

- - Wait. She's just a little late.

- - 5 more minutes but then I'm outta here!

Kurt to Elliott: Where are you!?

Elliott: On our way.

Kurt to Elliott: Well hurry up. S is going to leave in 5 min.

Elliott: Crap. Give us 10?

Kurt to Elliott: I'll see what I can do...

- - That's it! 5 minutes, I'm out. Thanks for losing my time.

- - She's on her way. Elliott just texted me.

- - Well she's way too late. She probably doesn't really want to see me.

- - I'm sure she wants to make things up. Santana, you mean a lot more than you think to Rachel. I don't know why she is so angry at you, but I know her and she won't accept to lose your friendship forever.

- - To protect herself I suppose. Instead of accepting her feelings and be talking about them. Come on, get ready. I got the piano part.

As Kurt starts playing the soft notes on the piano, Rachel and Elliott enter the auditorium.

- - But Elliott, I...

Rachel shuts up the second she hears Santana's voice.

**It's her hair and her eyes today  
That just simply take me away  
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love  
Makes me shiver but in a good way  
All the times I have sat and stared  
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair  
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,  
With me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say  
Coz I love her with all that I am  
And my voice shakes along with my hands  
Coz she's all that I see and she's all that I need  
And I'm out of my league once again **

Santana looks at Rachel, holding her gaze, making it clear that she is singing only to her. Rachel holds the look, but no emotions can be read on her face.**  
**  
**It's a masterful melody when she calls out my name to me  
As the world spins around her she laughs, rolls her eyes  
And I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise  
Coz I love her with all that I am  
And my voice shakes along with my hands  
Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea  
But I'd rather be here than on land  
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need  
And I'm out of my league once again**

Elliott get a tissue out of his pocket to wipe off the little tear on the corner of his eye.

**It's her hair and her eyes today  
That just simply take me away  
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love  
Makes me shiver but in a good way  
At he times I have sat and stared  
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair  
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,  
With me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say  
Coz I love her with all that I am  
And my voice shakes along with my hands  
Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea  
But I'd rather be here than on land  
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need  
And I'm out of my league once again**

As Kurt plays the last notes on the piano, Santana gets down of the stage, heading straight to Rachel. Unsure and anxious she doesn't stop holding her gaze with a stoic Rachel. She stops about a meter away.

- - Rachel?, said Santana waiting for a reaction.

- - What does all this means?, asked Rachel probably already knowing the answer.

- - This fight between us made me realize something really important. Something I should have figured out way sooner... I really care about you Rach, and not having you around me... it, it kills me. I hope you'll give me another chance, what I did was never to hurt you.

Taking Rachel's hand between hers.

- - I love you Rachel. More than a friend should love. So please Rach, give me this chance to make it all up to you...

- - I, Santana... it's... I'm sorry.

Rachel slipped away from Santana's hands and got out of the auditorium running leaving a empty Santana behind her. Kurt ran after her, while Elliott tried to hug Santana whom refused holding all her pain inside.

- - RACHEL! Said Kurt running after her.

- - Kurt. I'm sorry but I can't.

- - You can't what?

- - I can't give Santana what she wants.

- - And what is it that she wants according to you?

- - My love... And I can't give her that.

- - No Rachel. She wants you to forgive her, be a part of her life again. Yes she does love you. But just because you don't love her, you don't have the right to eliminates her from your life. She's really sorry for what's happening. Just try to be friends again, please. You two are perfect together. I mean, not like perfect love, but like perfect friends.

- - Kurt. It's ok. I do want to forgive her. I had a really bad reaction in this story. But, it's more difficult than you think. The thing is, I do love Santana too. And thing were easy when we were just friends. But now, now that Santana is in love with me I don't think I could handle it.

- - Wait. I don't understand. You say love her. The girl just sang the most beautiful love song to you and instead of jumping into her arms, you run away? I don't get it.

- - It's complicated!

- - What's so complicated?

- - Love! Friendship is one thing, love is another? I don't want my heart broken anymore, what if she finds someone better than me, what if she gets sick or DIE! I don't want to leave than again, no way.

- - Oh Rachel...

- - NO Kurt, just leave me alone ok.

Rachel ran off crying.

- - Well, what a perfect movie situation. Two broken hearted girls that love each other and end out crying all the time. I suppose I'm the best buddy that will lead them to the happy ending, if happy ending there is... Now I'm talking to myself...

Kurt to Elliott: Can you take San home please? I'll meet you there later.

Elliott: Sure.

SONGS

Ben Harper I love Her


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for how long it took. Here is a little chapter to keep you hanging till' the next one!**

Santana was in her room, well Rachel's room. Elliott took her home about an hour ago and she went directly there. Since what happened at NYADA she hasn't said a word, staring at the void. Elliott was waiting in the living room for Kurt to get home, the boy didn't answer the last texts. The Latina was lying on Rachel's bed, holding Rachel's pillow, smelling Rachel's perfume, and seeing Rachel's face everywhere she looked.

For a second there, Santana thought that she saw something in Rachel's eyes, sending her a message of hope. But she was wrong, Rachel doesn't have feelings for her Santana thinks. «I must try to get over her. It's over. Rachel will never love me back, never» she mumbled to herself.

The Latina's heart broke more than once in the last few days and she doesn't think she could stand it another time. But she can't forget Rachel, the little diva in under her skin. She can't believe that she never realized what she was feeling for the Hobbit before. The Ex-cheerleader spent a lot of time thinking about this for the last days and she thinks her feelings probably started back in High School. We hurt those we love, they say. She was a bitch to Rachel but in her deepest, she always cared for the little brunette.

Meanwhile, Kurt was at Elliott's place with Rachel.

- - You can't banish love for ever Rachel! It's insane! Some day you'll eventually realize that love is part of life and that you need it. Then you'll regret the choices you're making today. Santana loves you Rachel, very much as I can tell. If you love her too, you would be a fool to reject her. I know it's hard to lose someone you love but doesn't love worth this risk? Do you regret the times you had with Finn?

- - *snif* No, I surely don't.

- - If you had the chance to know in advance that Finn would leave us, you would still have done the same choices.

- - I think so.

- - You see Rachel. Santana is there, she's waiting for you. She loves you, she cares about you. I know you both far too well and I know that you are perfect for each other.

- - But we always fight Kurt!

- - Sure both of you are divas and have quite a temper so you'll fight for sure. You'll probably won't talk to each other sometimes. But you'll always get through it, like you always did since now.

- - Kurt, I'm not sure...

- - You're not sure about what Rachel?

- - That I won't get hurt.

- - Stop it Rachel. You'll get hurt in life, that's how it works. You have no valid argument to not try this with her.

Rachel opened her mouth to reply, but as soon as she realize she did have no real reasons to not live her life at her fullest. Kurt was right, without love it's not life. «I surely won't be able to live without her. The last days were horrible, I can't imagine a life. And now that her feelings are out, I can't keep my distance as a friend, ignoring mine.» Rachel thought to herself.

- - Rachel...

The brunette silenced him with her finger. She took her purse and headed for the door.

Kurt to Elliott: How's San?

E: Bad. She hasn't said a word yet. Rachel?

The apartment door opened.

- - Where is she?

Santana was mumbling to herself while sobbing «Forget her. Doesn't love you. Never will. Forget her.»

A warm pair of arms wraps around Santana and Rachel pulls the latina against her body, holding her as she is sobbing and gently stroking her hair.

- - It's okay San. I'm here now.


End file.
